On the 1st of September school starts again in Belgium... but not for me... I'm NOT in my Poppyclass...:/
I had a good schoolyear past year: it's was physically tough after being home the previous year with 4 hernia's, but with a weekly visit to my manual therapist (kinesiologist), dietary supplements for my fybromyalgy, painkillers,... and the will to go on because I love my job so much, I made it.
My vacation was very welcome to reload my batteries and every time I felt tired, I went for a rest in my outside bed.
I felt how energy came back and I was able to do more what I wanted to do: create every day, do my household,...
But then my manual therapist with his golden hands was suddenly diagnozed with coloncancer... He is still not well and has a very long way to go to come back, IF he ever comes back...
I freaked out a bit... Next to the much needed rest, I needed extra help for my body and the backpain.
I really, really wanted to start on the 1st of september in my class.
Luckily I found an osteopathe with a different approach, but we immediatly made a connection and I felt in good hands.
Only downpart : it' s more expensive and not every week, but every three weeks, but I kept hope.
My outside bed stayed an important piece in my recovering and due to the very good summer we had in Belgium, I've been able to rest here almost every day.
A week before we had our first schoolmeeting I did something in the garden and felt a lot of pain in my back... Damn, not one of the hernia's again ?
The pain stayed and spread out to the front of my body. I have a very good musclebalm that I kept on massaging on the painful places.
My skin was supersensitive, it felt like I had burns, but I still thought that was because of the "hernia", because there was nothing to see.
And then one morning there were a lot of spots on the painful side. Damn those mosquitos !! Why did they attack me on a place that was already painful ? ...
A week ago we had our first meeting at school and I felt full of energy and desire to start again. I'm still in my Poppyclass with my sweet collegue Ellen and the handicapped children have complex needs, but we had a lot of nice experiences for them in mind for the coming year.
My back killed me in the evening, the spots were itching and painful and then it suddenly occured to me I might NOT have a hernia, but herpes zoster....
A visit to the doctor confirmed my fear... and he prescribed me to stay at home. I didn't want ! I wanted to start in school !
A sleepless night from the pain, worries... and a migraine- attack made me realize my doctor, my mom, my husband were right...
The herpes zoster, the migraine... are signals from my body that it's in need and that ignoring won't cure, only make it worse.
I cried from anger, dissappointment,... I had been so good the past weeks to take my rest and still it's not enough....
I know the fybromyalgy undermines my immunesystem, the constant fight against pain from the fybromyalgy and hernia's take a lot of energy of my body and I had indeed had emotional stress the past months....
My 22 year old son with Asperger was heading to a depression because of a huge vitamine D shortage, identityproblems and the stress for school.
We sorted some things out before vacation. He quit school and we are still on the search for help and support for his future, but he smiles again and jokes again, so I thought we were doing well.
I have a strong will, but it seems my body is not as strong...
I luckily have my creativity to keep me sane... and my outside bed :)
The old iron bed is in a corner of my garden behind a wall of my house, next to an old tree.
I have sight on my garden, the tree and the sky above me. I feel the wind and the sun, I hear the birds in the trees, ...
An outsideposter of soldered pendants remind me constantly of my creative projects...
I'm also never alone in my bed. No matter where my cats are, when I get in the outside bed one or two of my six cats come to keep my compagny.
They make me smile, their purrs make me calm and if I want to get out and disturb their sleep, they put their nails in my skin to keep me IN the bed...:)
I feel like they are one of my guardianangels.
Even the newest cat, Missamissa, who we adopted in july, comes to make me laugh by jumping in the ivy like a rabbit...
I shed a lot of tears the past days, knowing that I could not start today in my class.
But then I think I'm a lucky one... I have no cancer, no lifethreatening disease... I live in Belgium where I can take my rest and I'm not a mom with the same worries as me in a country like Syria,....
Thàt and all the sweet mails and textmessages I got the past days from collegues, parents,... make me see that my glass is still half full.
I will be back :)
Inge
Reactie schrijven
Karen (dinsdag, 03 september 2013 12:22)
Take the rest you need Inge. I am sorry to hear about your troubles and your therapist's cancer. I've been quiet too: My husband had a stroke (clot in the brain) in July: He is doing well and I am grateful it wasn't worse. Like you, the glass is still half full. Stay positive!
Big hugs
Karen
Heidi (woensdag, 04 september 2013 12:37)
Hi Inge! It must be hard to stay so positive sometimes, but it is so important. Your outside bed and your kitties look like a dream! And to have a 22 year old son with you must be very uplifting as a momma.
Keep strong! You are surrounded by many that love you!
Paula (donderdag, 05 september 2013 01:04)
Oh dearest Inge,
I am so sad to hear about your troubles. You are one of the most positive people that I know and that will help you to heal. You really must rest now because all kinds of adventures are waiting for you when you are better, but they can wait till you heal! My thoughts are with you and your lovely son. Much love to you my dear friend and art sister. Paula xx
Marita Kovalik (vrijdag, 06 september 2013 07:56)
Your body is speaking to you, Inge! You are good to listen to it and you will benefit from it in the long run. Take time to relax and use all your creative juices to heal your body and relax your mind. I'll look forward to seeing your creative ventures this new found time just might generate! I've never seen such an energetic and creative person as you, so I know nothing will keep you down for long! Take care my dear sister of heART!!!! And I so LOVE your outdoor bed! Do you still have your outdoor bathtub as well? So fun and ecclectic!!!!! I love it!
Marita
Kathryn - Collage Diva (woensdag, 23 oktober 2013 07:14)
My sweet friend, I do apologize for stopping by so infrequently. A case of insomnia gave me the occasion to swing by now. I love your outdoor bed and furry angels amidst a fabulous garden. These are all elements along with your creativity that will soothe your soul and go a long way in healing your body. My life has been full. I'm just heading out on Thursday to go on a retreat. It is the Creative Joy retreat that I won with Jen Louden. What a gift and the timing couldn't be more perfect. I've been feeling weighed down by so many challenges thrown at me in the last 1-1/2 years. (Both parents passed away and my son lives 1800 miles away, adjusting to a new marriage, and feeling like I don't belong where I work.) There is more but that list is quite long enough! I'm soooo sorry to hear that you are in pain. Take good care of yourself and know that when the time is right, you'll be back in the classroom again. {soul hugs} k
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